Different Crosses

I cannot remember who or what I was listening to the other day, it could have even been the guest preacher at my church, I'm not sure but there is something that has struck me. Sometimes our cross to bear is not knowing, sitting between what has been and what will be, waiting in anticipation and maybe even some trepidation of what will be. So often when thinking about taking up our cross I think about those things that are big, painful or life altering. But not every cross weighs the same or works in the same way.

The cross of living in transition is not heavy. When God calls for patience it is easy to say okay...for awhile anyway. But carry anything that is of some weight over a long stretch of time and it's not long before your arms feel like they will fall off. You may start off strong but all human strength will wane under the burden of any cross. Or the cross is like grinder baseball. Small bunts, steels and hits that slowly grind you into the dirt as the opponent beats you by one. Grinder baseball takes an impressive display of patience.

So I wait, waiting to hear if the Field Ed. Committee at the Seminary will accept my appeal and give me the credits I need to graduate. Until then I am uncertain if I am still an official student or not, if I can start to pursue things I have felt pulled towards the last four years but have waited for after graduation.

For now, it's a matter of the will to practice patience and not get antsy and swing at a bad pitch. So I sing with the song writer:

God wraps himself in human skin for those who want to touch.
And God let them drive the nails in for those of us who knew way too much.
And I'd like to say I'm faithful to the task at hand,
Speaking gospel to a handful and others with their list of demands.

It's cold this year and I'm late on my dues.
It's cold this year but that's nothing new.
My heart's electric with your love again.
So it's on to Bethlehem.*

Bill Mallonee "On To Bethlehem" from the import CD "'Cross the Big Pond"